His Butler, Interrogation
by Simply One Hell of a Butler
Summary: This is a story where you can ask me, Sebastian  Black Butler , questions.  Feel free to ask any questions!  Enjoy.  For I am simply one HELL of a Butler!  Rated T for mild cursing and somewhat creepy content..
1. Chapter 1

**[A/N: this fic is rated M for mature language, graphic deaths (hopefully not of the readers, however, that is up to Ciel and Sebastian), content that young readers may not comprehend, or **_**want**_** to comprehend, and the nature in which these letters are addressed]**

Greetings to you all. My name is Sebastian Michaelis, and my master's name is Ciel Phantomhive. Perhaps you have heard of him, or at least his company, Funtom Company, a manufacturer of toys, sweets, and food (which we were awarded a royal warrant for).

My Lord suggested that I have an advice/questions column for those of you who are curious. He insists that it will be something to occupy my time, though, I suspect he is hiding something from me. However, as long as he is unharmed in his secretive ways, I must obey his order to leave him be.

I will be answering reviews to this story to the best of my ability, however, I will not reveal vital secrets of Ciel's or mine. Feel free to ask any questions, just understand that I may not be allowed, by contract or otherwise, to answer.

With Deadly Butter Knives (and other dining utensils),

Sebastian

For you see, I am simply one _hell_ of a butler


	2. Chapter 2

**[A/N: Ok! Update time!]**

Well, though I only have received 2 reviews, I am going to answer to them now. And hope for more later.

_First Letter is from VoldemortsBFF:_

_This is a cool idea ^.^ Ok, here I go: Sebby, I was just wondering...Is Claude  
>really yours and William's lovechild?<em>

Thank you. Well.. I can only say that Will and I have a spotted history and, though he hates me now, we used to be very close. I shall leave the rest of the story up to your imagination, for these are highly classified matters.

~The Butler~

_Second Letter is from: Lovino Vargas_

_Ciao. Your messenger told me to write in, so here I am. Here's my question:_

_What do I have to do for you to not kill me with my own invention?_

_~Lovino_

Ahh.. My messenger… If you haven't heard, she is now out of the loop of my fanfiction account. That was her last task as one of my working staff. Personally, I don't think your question should be so specific. I believe it should be worded more along the lines of '_What do I have to do for you not to kill me?'_ And truly, the answer is as much as you possibly can. You see, I don't take it kindly when I am talked about behind my back in a vile, insulting way, as _you_ have so blatantly, and what's more, you posted it on the internet.

I would suggest that first, you apologize.. and don't try to get out of it by saying it in a different language like you pulled on your story. I want it in English.

Second, try to be courteous. I, at least, am courteous to guests and anyone the young master, Ciel, and I meet, at least until I have permission to kill them from my lord, or the contract binding us has to be activated.

And for now, lastly, admit that Britain would win in a fight between the two of you because he has me… and Claude… and the Undertaker… and Grell… (Demons, Reapers, all of us inhuman beings that are more powerful than you…) and many others who would leap at the _slightest_ chance for some action. And the British are quite skilled at summoning creatures and certain countries that you would not want to mess with (Russia).

I bid you farewell, and as always, With Deadly Butter Knives,

Sebastian

For I am simply one _hell_ of a butler.


	3. Chapter 3

**[A/N: OH MY GOSH! 3 REVIEWS!]**

Hello! What a lovely day it is today! And in just one day, I already have 3 letters? Goodness! **[A/N: If this were anyone but Sebastian, he would be jumping up and down with joy!]**

Now onto the first letter, from MMOandFrUK:

_2 questions to Sebastian_

1st what's really happening between you and Ciel?

2nd Are you really the hottest of them all?

1: The information of mine and Ciel's personal relationships is a topic that I would rather not discuss.

2: Of course I am. Otherwise, what kind of butler would I be? 

Our second letter is from Lovino Vargas:

_But...she's my FRIEND...how could you exclude her from the loop? And I'll stop  
>talking about you "in a vile, insulting way" if you don't KILL ME, dammit.<em>

Grr...alright. Fine. I'm sorry. But just for the record: when I say something  
>in Italian, I mean it.<p>

I'll try, but that just isn't in my nature, capito? I'm just not a courteous  
>person.<p>

WHAT? No! *feels evil eye of my friend* Chigi...fine, fine. *grits teeth*  
>B-Britain would...win...in a fight. A-And...so...ould...you. *sigh*<p>

~Lovino

Ahh… but you see, I don't really care if she is your friend or not, for you see, I am a demon and only care of my master's wellbeing and those he cares about and order me to take care of's wellbeing. Others, not so much.

That won't work in the way you planned it to, because you were speaking of me in such a revolting fashion, undermining my abilities to protect my master and such, before I even sent you a letter. So therefore, you should stop speaking negatively of a person you don't know. Especially not behind their backs. Especially when they are perfectly capable of murdering you with your own invention.

Thank you. But the Grr at the beginning shows me you are not truly sorry. And I don't believe that to be true. Usually when another person says something in another language, they mean it much less than in their regular language.

Human nature is changeable. You should know from what you did to that poor state Iowa. If you are 'just not a courteous person', then I am 'just someone who has the inexplicable urge (and master's orders) to murder a certain Lovino Vargas. I am giving you the chance to live. Take it or leave it.

First of all, you have to actually believe what you are saying if you do not want to be labeled as a liar. Second of all, the way that you wrote 'And so ould you' it gives me the slight feeling that you doubt me and you don't really think I would. For all I know, you could be saying could or should, not would. Please clear this up and work on your writing skills before the next time you write to me.

And the last letter, from VoldemortsBFF:

_Okay, I'm gonna take that as a "Yes, Will and I are madly in love and Claude  
>is, unfortunately, my son." So here is my follow up question: Which one of you<br>is the father and which one of you is the mother? ;)_

Firstly, you have made some serious accusations that may cost you your soul, secondly, why would you want to know, and how would you even have the courage to ask me such a befouling question in the first place?

With Deadly Butter Knives,

Sebastian

Because I am simply one_ hell_ of a butler.


	4. Chapter 4

**[A/N: whoa! 2 weeks since my last update… sorry… well anyway, thank you to all who have reviewed!]**

Hello again. I am deeply sorry for not answering your letters these past couple of weeks, but work **[homework.. it sucks the soul outta ya!] **has kept me away. I have many letters to answer today, so I will commence replying at once!

Our first letter today is from VoldemortsBFF:

_Jeez Sebby, you're so mean! If you must know, Grell paid me to ask you. He  
>also wants to know where you hide your diary and if you're free next Friday<br>night. ^.~_

No, I am not mean, I just would rather not share that information. Really? Grell? You are in cahoots with that lunatic? Not going to tell you **[*****cough*underhisbed*cough* I mean what? (I am his female counterpart you know..)]** and if he really wants to know, then he should ask me in person!

Our second letter today is from animegirl1012:

_Hello Mr. Sebastian,_

_I have aways wondered how is it like taking care of Ciel, and what were your  
>thought when Ciel had to dress like a girl at the Viscount's party?<em>

Well, taking care of him is relatively easy. It is quite fun most times. When young master had to dress as a female at the Viscount's party, I was in awe at how dedicated he was to his position that he would give up his masculinity and risk Miss Elizabeth knowing it was him.

Our third letter is from nadzuke eno mono:

_Hahahah go Sebastian Ps what is your favorite nickname. That grell has given  
>you<em>

Thank you.

P.S. I don't like any of his nicknames for me. I like Sebastian. **[We all know he likes Bassie the best!]**

Our fourth letter is from my master, OnehellofaCiel:

_I take great joy in reading your blogs, Sebastian, and I do approve of your  
>responses. By the way, I've taken care of your little feud with Lovino<br>Vargas, so do not concern yourself with him any longer. I personally do not  
>like Britain, seeing as his queen tried to kill us along with the help of an<br>insane angel. Do not encourage that we support Britain, even though his dark  
>magic has been helpful. I now request that you bring me something sweet to<br>eat before I retire, so do be on your way. See you later, my dear butler._

_Your master,_

_Ciel Phantomhive_

_Yes I do have one hell of a butler._

That is good young master. And, though I could have taken care of him myself, I thank you for that as well. I know you personally do not like Britain, but I believe he is still better than Italy, but not by very much. Right now, Germany sounds like a wonderful place to be. He seems like a nice person…. Something sweet… anything in particular? If not, will some chocolate chip cookies do? I shall see you soon, my dear master.

Your butler,

Sebastian

Of course you do…

All right. I must go give master Ciel something to eat. I bid you all farewell, and as always,

With Deadly Butter Knives,

Sebastian

For I am simply one _hell_ of a butler.


	5. Chapter 5

**[A/N: I am sooooooooo sorry! I will update more often! I promise!]**

I am deeply sorry for not updating this for so long, but I have been busy for quite a while. Now, onto the letters!

_First Letter is from __ Michaelis:_

_:D Sebbas-chan! r u sure that Claude isn't ur love-child? he looks like it~ anyway WHY DON'T YOU LIKE GRELL! HE IS AWESOME! grr PLUS CIEL owes GRELL a DAY with U!_

I never said that he was or was not. Just because he looks like it doesn't mean that he is! I don't like Grell because he is very creepy and reapers just aren't my type… and he is just too clingy… And yes, I know that he does. We just haven't set up a good date for it yet.

_Next Letter is from my Bocchan, OneHellofaCiel:_

_Your quiet right, Germany does sound nice. Perhaps we shall go there one day. The cookies were delicious as always, seeing as the only food I like is your cooking. This evening, as you know, I am attending an acquaintance of mine's birthday party, which unfortunately has a theme of a certain Alice in Wonderland. Apparently I have to go as a white rabbit, so I request that you help me make a costume. I also have an order for you, send a pleasant letter to Lovino Vargas, requesting that he becomes allies with us. I believe his soul will be quiet delicious with all the hate he has in Him, so we need to get closer to him before I can get him in a contract. That is all Sebastian. Oh and one more question, WHY THE HELL DID YOU NEVER REPLY TO ME AFTER I HAD THE NIGHTMARE AND SAW ALOIS OUTSIDE MY WINDOW? YOU OWE ME BIG TIME! I NEED MY BUTLER(ciel is now on the verge of tears and looks like he's going to cry)_

_Your master in eternity,_

_The Earl of Phantomhive_

_(you guys can tell when Ciel is pissed when he refers to himself as the Earl of Phantomhive, not his usual end)_

That would be quite nice. I also heard that they have some fine delicacies there, so you should enjoy it, and then I can make some for you when we get back home. Or maybe we could find a suitable building for a new Phantomhive Estate… And the picture of you is.. well… to say the least, adorable… **[A/N: The picture was awesome!] **Now that you are enemies with Lovino Vargas, must I still write a polite letter to him? And his soul will be delicious… he got a paper cut and I was the one to patch it up, so naturally, I tasted the blood. **[A/N: I didn't actually do this… I am not that creepy.. and Sarah didn't get a paper cut today] **The reason I hadn't replied to your freak out letter was because I hadn't received it yet. Please do excuse my terrible email provider.

*gives cupcake* **[A/N: I am going to bring you a cupcake tomorrow… do you want chocolate or vanilla? And please remind me to give it to you!]**

_Next Letter is from VoldemortsBFF:_

_I'm not "in cahoots" with Grell, I'm IN LOVE with him!3 And are you sure you  
>want him to ask you himself? That would require him to be near you and that<br>would cause me to be jealous and attempt to murder you(even though I know it's  
>impossible since you are one hell of a butler). Anyway, how many cats are you<br>hiding in the Phantomhive manor? I promise I won't tell Ciel ^.^_

Oh dear… another hopeless fangirl. And yes, I am positive, because then I can kill him in person. You see, it is a bit difficult to kill someone over the internet… And jealousy will not do anything for you. I may just tell him to spend all his time with you, so that way, if I ever need help from a reaper, I will be able to summon him, and he will be out of my hair the rest of the time…. The large box on your doorstep addressed to 'VoldemortsBFF' will contain an annoying, creepy, red-haired reaper. I won't include the chainsaw because that might not be a very good idea. First of all, I am not hiding any cats in the Phantomhive manor because Bocchan has graciously allowed me to have 2 cats. And just because you wouldn't tell young master something doesn't mean he wouldn't find out because first of all, he is a demon, and it is very hard to withhold information from a demon, and second of all because he is reading this story.. **[A/N: He actually is… his (her in real life) account is OneHellofaCiel.. go check it out!] **

_Next Letter is from Obsessed SebaCiel Fangirl:_

_After I surely pissed your little master off a little with my obsessions  
>(though unintentionally), I came to ask you a few questions, too.<em>

_Is Ciel your first shota master or did you previously have other shota  
>masters?<em>

_Do you read manga?_

_Are you straight?_

_Do you wish Ciel's engagement to Elizabeth to be cancelled?_

_Were you a human at first?_

_Are you the demon Mephistopheles? (I am pointing at the pentagram of your  
>contract.)<em>

_Which of the three servants annoys you the most?_

_Why do you talk so much? (Not that we would not love it, don't get me wrong.)_

_Do you like pokemon?_

My master complained to me about you. He said you are a problem. I view you as a challenge.

I don't like to share the personal information of my past contracts, so I will not disclose that information.

In my free time, I occasionally pick up a manga or two.. **[A/N: In other words, he has a box full of them under his bed.. it's his guilty pleasure..]**

I try not to feel attraction to others because if I get attached and they die, it hurts. Let's just say, sometimes I am.. Sometrimes, I'm not…

Other than the fact that she is dead at the time, no!

That is information that I do not wish to share

No… Mephistopheles is my friend though… his human name at the time is Gilbert.

Meyrin.. She is much too clingy.. more clingy than even Grell…

The reason that I talk so much is because I am sort of the 'narrator' if you will.

Pokemon is ok, I suppose.

_Next Letter is from ILoveGagaAndMichael:_

_Hello~_

_It's ILGAM_

_You're awesome. And extremely sexy. -blushes- Onto the questions..._

_1. Why does everyone hate Grell so much? HE'S HILARIOUS. Come on._

_2. If you saw all the GrellxSebastian yaoi on my phone, what would you say?_

_3. What would you do if you walked in on Ciel and Alois having sex? (( NOT  
>RAPE ))<em>

_4. Your words on my story, Kuro Titanic?_

_5. Are you gay?_

_That is all._

_-ILGAM_

Hello IGLAM!

Ummm.. thank you?

Just because Grell is funny, doesn't mean he isn't creepy. You haven't experienced his creepiness to the full extent **[A/N: I totally love Grell, but don't tell Sebby that..]**

I would run. As fast as I can. From you.

I would be mildly creeped out because Alois is kind of dead right now..

I have not read it yet, but I plan to read it.

I already answered that. Look above.

_Our Last Letter is from Roisalee Jones:_

_Dear Mr. Michaelis,_

_Hello! I'm a friend of Ciel Phantomhive, and I was wondering how I should go  
>about summoning a demon. I have already asked Ciel this, but in case he<br>doesn't know I wanted to ask another demon. Thank you~_

_Sincerely,_

_Roisalee Jones_

Wow, You are very polite, but you can just call me Sebastian. No need for such formality.

Yes, I know. I have been monitoring his story as well and have read your letters. The summoning of a demon requires a strong wish. Each demon has their own summoning ritual. Mine was the pain of loss and the rage that trickled into revenge and the need for another to help commit its revenge. But now that I am Ciel's eternal butler, it no longer works.

With Deadly Butter Knives,

Sebastian

For I am simply one _hell _of a butler.

=^.,.^= Kitty!


	6. Chapter 6

Hi all! This is Sebastian again! I already received so many letters in so short of a time, so I am going to update tonight!

_First off, we have an email from Hime._ (my first email! So excited! Please do email me! I enjoy it! The email is **DeadlyButterKnives (it is a gmail address, so just add gmail . com *no spaces)** and if the link doesn't show up, it is in my bio!)

_Hi. Sebby~ May i ask if kuroshitsuji got another season? Really like you and your master in the anime~ call me hime thanks =)_

Hi! As far as I know, the only seasons of Kuroshitsuji that I know of are Black Butler and Black Butler II. There are a few extra episodes as well, Ciel in Wonderland. Thank you!

_Next, we have a letter from symmetrygoddess:_

_Dear Sebastian, _

_Hello, how are you doing? I have a few questions  
>for you. First of all, what was being a demom like before you got the contract<br>with Ciel? Also, what do you think of Claude and Alois? How do you and Ciel  
>like the modern world? I saw that you have read a few mangas before, do you<br>read or watch soul eater? and if you do, what are your thoughts on it?  
>Your friend, SymmetryGoddess (Sorry for the spaces, my<br>phone's screen messed ^^'_

I am doing quite well, thank you! Before I met Bocchan, my life was devoted to cats. I helped strays, took them in and if someone no longer wanted a cat, I took that in as well. Then I groomed them, got them into good shape, and put them in cat shows. They always won first place. Then after that, they found themselves in fine homes. It was an enjoyable pastime. Claude and Alois are… not my favorite people in the world. We really enjoy it! Ciel now has many computers and mp3 players to entertain him. As a matter of fact, I do watch Soul Eater, my favorite character is definitely Death the Kid! And judging by your username, I am guessing you like him as well…

_The next letter is from OnehellofaCiel (Bocchan!):_

_Sebastian,_

_No, you do not have to speak with Lovino. I will fix things with him later.  
>I am glad that you liked the picture. (A.N: as sson as I'm done writing<br>this, I'll finish sketching your drawing. It is going to be so cool. I guess  
>cholcolate, though you didn't have to bring me cake. Thanks!) I think that<br>our current dwelling will suffice for now, but perhaps in the future... I  
>shall speak with you later<em>

_The Lord of Games,_

_Ciel Phantomhive_

That relieves me! It was wonderful! **[A/N: YAY! I CAN'T WAIT FOR IT! Please write 'With Deadly Butter Knives' (or something of that variation) on it!]** Whatever my young master wishes, I shall make happen.

Your Butler,

Sebastian

_Our next letter is from Syra Darkangelle:_

_Syra Darkangelle:Dear Sebastian,_

_What kind of cats do you have,and what names did you give them? You haven't  
>come across a big orange tom cat have you,he wandered off a couple days ago.<em>

_I have a cat but she is a familar named Deva,so i do not know if she is  
>technically a cat.<em>

_Daughter of Sorrow,_

_Syra Darkangelle_

I have a polydactyl, which is a cat with extra toes, who is mostly gray, with a white underbelly, white paws, and a white splash across her face, whose name is Lucy, and I have a red tabby named Lola **[A/N: those are actually my cats! XD]** No, I am sorry to say that I have not seen a big, orange tom cat… but I will keep my eyes open for it! I am not quite sure if a familiar is technically a cat or not, but I could find out!

Sorrow? She is a good friend of mine… tell her I said hi!

_Our next letter is from JezabelStrike:_

_I guess since this is 'real' I'll address you as , anyway if I  
>ever meet you in the near future and gave you...a kitten (not a pet really<br>because I think cats are truly never tamed) that was miraculously blue, what  
>would you do?<em>

Well of course this is real! What else would it be? If you gave me a kitten that was miraculously blue, I would probably hug you because I love cats and blue is my second favorite color!

_Next Letter is from __ no sign in:_

_ no sign in:Wait...if you would run from  
>ILoveGagaAndMichael...then you should have nightmares about me! :D<br>GrellxSebastian is on my Facebook, Youtube, DeviantArt, Pinterest, my wall  
>paper on my computer (I don't have a phone...), and well, even on my AllPoetry<br>account... :D I would do anything in my power to make that happen (muhahahaha)  
>And dude, Grell is awesome and deserves whatever heshe wants. (I know Grell  
>is a guy, but I'm not sure what he wants to be addressed as...)Although i am<br>not so much as a GrellxWill fan...but if Grell's happy, i can deal._

Sadly, I do have nightmares about you. Not you in particular, but all fangirls in general… I really didn't need to know that… And Grell is NOT awesome and he doesn't deserve anything he wants. I am more of a GrellXWill fan than a GrellXme fan. **[A/N: I am more of a Sebastian and myself fan… however, any yaoi will do].**

_Next Letter from VoldemortsBFF:_

_Yay!~ Grell will be so happy, I'm sure~ Thanks for answering all of my  
>questions, Sebby. I'll come back if I think of more~<em>

Ok.. You're welcome! Feel free to visit any time! And if you have any questions of my young master, go to his account at OnehellofaCiel.. his story is His Master, Interrogation (I had my title first!)

_Next Letter from ILoveGagaAndMichael:_

_Hello._

_Thank you for answering my questions._

_1. He may be creepy but at least he knows it._

_2. Are you a pedophile? If so, have you been molesting your master? O_e_

_3. Are you happy to have to be taking care of your Bocchan for all eternity  
>with no way out and no other option?<em>

_4. Mi nombre es Pepé. Not really cause I'm a girl._

_5. You do realize you are uke in most ClaudexYou fanfics right?_

_Your favorite Michael Jackson and Lady Gaga fan,_

_-ILGAM_

_PS. Kitty._

Hello! You're welcome!

1. Doesn't make him any less creepy

2. NO! How could you even suggest such a terrible idea?

3. Of course! Bocchan is a very nice master!

4. Good for you?

5. I didn't need to know that!

P.S. YAY!~ =^.,.^=

And that is the conclusion of the letters! Please, don't be shy with your questions, the longer your letter to me is, the longer my letter back is **[A/N: please don't turn that into anything perverted..]**

**And I am also starting a contest. At the end of each chapter, I am going to ask a random question, and whoever answers it correctly, first, gets a oneshot! Also, every 50th reviewer will get a oneshot! **

**First question: What is my favorite animal? (this is not Sebastian's question, it is mine, the author's)**


	7. Chapter 7

**[A/N: ok… so my favorite animal hasn't been guessed yet, so I shall continue on with that… anyway, Thanks for all of your reviews! And, my hand is finally better! YAY! On with the story!]**

Good day to you all. I am truly apologetic about my extended absence; however, I have been quite busy with trivial things. Nevertheless, that is not an excuse and I hope that you can all forgive me.

Our first letter is from Michaelis: _OMG it would be hilarious if ur fave animal is a dog! (yes, that is my answer) Okay, that message,_

Wait...if you would run from ILoveGagaAndMichael...then you should have nightmares about me! :D GrellxSebastian is on my Facebook, Youtube, DeviantArt, Pinterest, my wall paper on my computer (I don't have a phone...), and well, even on my AllPoetry account... :D I would do anything in my power to make that happen (muhahahaha) And dude, Grell is awesome and deserves whatever he/she wants. (I know Grell is a guy, but I'm not sure what he wants to be addressed as...)Although i am not so much as a GrellxWill fan...but if Grell's happy, i can deal.

that was me, just to make sure. I switched browsers and I couldn't remember my password...then i changed it on my old browser, and I reforgot my password! (and no, it does not involve Black Butler, this I am sure of) oh yeah, I am working on a Chibi-Kitty-Sebby picture and I wanna know if u (Sebastian) wants to see it! It will be on DeviantArt anyway. Love u! (but will Grell even more~)

**[A/N: Nope.. I hate dogs more than Sebastian..] ** I realize that it was yours. I would be delighted to see it! Wonderful?

_The next letter is from jasblue97:_

_Jas: Hi Sebastian, nice to finally meet my favorite killer butler!_

_Raven: Hey! I thought I was your favorite!_

_Jas: You arent a butler, your a half demon/contractor to me._

_Raven: Stupid...butler...knife throwing idiot._

_Jas: *sigh* Disregard (spelling? Sorry!) Raven, she's a bit bitchy. Anyway, I_  
><em>was wondering, what type of music are you into? Please don't say classical.<em>

_Raven: I got one!_

_Jas: Fine._

_Raven: What the hell is with the knives and forks as weapons? Isnt that taking_  
><em>the butler thing to an extreme? Use a real weapon like a real demon!<em>

_Jas: You're only half, how would you know?_

_Raven: Shut up!_

_Jas: *Sigh* Again, sorry about her. Oh, one more thing, I have a present for_  
><em>you! *hands out large gray cat* Meet Shadow! He's my kitty, but, my dad's gf<em>  
><em>is forcing me to get rid of him. *Sob* Please take good care of him! Oh, and<em>  
><em>I've been reading this for some time, but, I was in the ER recently, and<em>  
><em>couldn't<em>

_review__ sorry it took so long!_

It is lovely to meet you as well! Excuse me, Raven? Stupid butler? Knife throwing idiot? I do take offense at that! And I will do my best to disregard that, but it will be difficult. I am into show tunes, Iron Maiden, actually all metal, but Iron Maiden is a favorite, I enjoy music in languages other than English, and I enjoy more music, but I don't want to bore you. **[A/N: Those are my actual preferences in music..]** I prefer to show off my skills, of which I have many. And no, it isn't 'taking the butler thing to an extreme', it is merely my style.

*****screechy voice* OH MY GOSH! A KITTY! *faints* **[A/N: I will take care of the rest of the answering of this letter.. And I shall take good care of Shadow for you. ]**

_Our next letter is from JezabelStrike:  
>Hello Sebastian well if you gave me a hug I think I would be very happy as<br>well as the kitty._

_If blue is your second favorite what is your first?_

Well if it would make you, the reader happy, then I suppose I must hug you, for I am under orders of Young Master to keep the readers happy. *hugs*

My first favorite color is a dark red, very similar to the color of blood.

_And the next letter is from ILoveGagaAndMichael:_

_Dear Sebastian,_

_1. Who's creepier, Claude or Grell?_

_2. Have you ever been to Pen island . com? (( :trollface:))_

_3. Do you regret ever meeting Alois and his servants?_

_4. What is your favorite type of kitty?_

_Your extremely creepy, die-hard GrellxSebastian and AloisxCiel, Michael_  
><em>Jackson, and Lady Gaga fan,<em>

_-ILGAM_

_PS. -throws kitty into your arms-_

1. Definitely Claude.

2. No, and I do not plan to **[A/N: That is elementary trolling]**

3. Well if not for meeting them, Bocchan would not have come back, but if not for meeting them, I would have eaten his soul by now.

4. Siamese, Egyptian Mau, Burmese, Sphynx, or Cornish Rex

I can stand Grell-chan, but I could not stand to be in a relationship with him.

P.S. OOOH KITTY! *faints* **[A/N: Seriously people! What is it with you giving him cats?]**

_A letter from Angelic yet Demonic:_

_Dear Sebastian ^^_

_Call me An!_

_First of all I would like to say... I'm your fan! But don't worry I'm not_  
><em>going be clingy like Maylene or Grell not to mention I hate him, I still have<em>  
><em>my pride and I hate to be clingy!.<em>

_I have a question!_

_Where do you learn violin? I mean you're so good with it! And I jealous of_  
><em>that!<em>

_That's all from me! Thank you for your time!_

_Sirencely_

_The Good And Evil Angel_

Ok.. Hello An.

Alright.. I will hold you to that promise.

I taught myself. Well, I just simply knew it the second I picked up the instrument. That is true with everything that I attempt.

You're welcome.

Oh.. You're an angel. Please excuse my distaste, but I have had some unpleasant experiences with angels.

_The next letter is from __Sebassy-chan:_

_Dearest Sebas-chan~_

_I just wanted to ask you if you had decided where to go on our first_  
><em>honeymoon~? You should also know I've already paid for the wedding and it is<em>  
><em>in two months. Choose wherever you want, my sweet dove-feather'd raven! If you<em>  
><em>so desire the moon, I swear that there shall we go!<em>

_Your fiancée,_

_Grell Sutcliff_

_P.S._

_I named my account after you. Isn't that romantic?_

_（＾＾）_

Why is it that everyone is trying to marry me or some such atrocity without my permission? Chances are, if you courted me correctly and asked nicely, I might say yes. I do not want to get married! And I don't want to go anywhere for this nonexistent honeymoon!

And we are not fianceés!

P.S. NO!

_Our next letter is courtesy of Russian Runa:_

_Dear Sebastian,_

_Greetings and Salutations. My ma_

_Name is Major Runa . The Celestial. Alchemist and the nation of_  
><em>Amestris. It is both an honor. And a pleasure. Making your aquantince. I have<em>  
><em>written. To your master. And I . how well mannered the young lord<em>  
><em>is. Would you be honor to becomes. My friend.? No more no less.<em>  
><em>. as . or an insult, but I think demons are<em>  
><em>better than angels. Well, better be off. I need to get to work my<em>  
><em>slackers commander. Do his paperwork. I bid you adieu.<em>

_Sincerely,_

_Major Runa Curtis_

My warmest welcome, Major Runa. Good. I have raised him well. I would love to be your friend! I agree with you on that one. Angels are just annoying. Always getting in my way. Good luck with your work.

_Our next letter is from Syra Darkangelle:_

_Syra Darkangelle:I am taking a wild guess and going to say a bird of some  
>sort.<em>

_Dear Sebastian,_

_My mother told me to tell you Hi back. i never had a six clawed cat,I had a_  
><em>three legged cat and called her numbs. My question is Did you feel cheated<em>  
><em>that Ceil became a demon instead of holding up the payment of your orginal<em>  
><em>contract?<em>

_Grell is a nuisance,and we had to trick him away using my brother's familar_  
><em>taking a neko can change forms so taking her orginal form is black<em>  
><em>mist,she is probably not a cat,but she insists she likes staying a internal<em>  
><em>kitten. i read Ceil's form is black panther,and that made me curious,and I<em>  
><em>asked my mother and said I had to ask you myself.<em>

_What is your true form,I have a feeling it is a bird affinity,but that makes_  
><em>the cat obsession seem odd seeing how cats like to eat birds. it is only fair<em>  
><em>I share mine,I have dragon like wings,red reptilian eyes,and a froked tongue<em>  
><em>and fangs. Not sure i think it is a dragon affinity.<em>

_Daughter Of Sorrow,_

_Syra Darkangelle_

**[A/N: Nope.. ]**

Well send her my greetings. Oh.. well, polydactyls are very interesting cats. Yes, I did feel very cheated when he became a demon, trapping his perfect soul in his body forever. That is why I despise Claude and Alois. Good. At least someone is on my side against that abhorrent creature. My true form is subject to change, as is my appearance. As a very skilled demon, I am the first to be able to change true forms or even appearances. At the moment, my true form is a black, winged cat.

_Next letter is from CartoonAnimeGodess1995:_

_Dear Sebastian-san,_

_I hope you are in good health, Here are my questions sorry if they seem idiotic_  
><em>or if someone asked them already:<em>

_1. When did you first become interested in cats? (I'm a lover of them myself_  
><em>and my cat's name is Trembles named from when he first tried to walk)<em>

_2. Why the dislike of dogs? and what other animals do you Hate?_

_given the choice of spending a day locked in a room out of Grell, Claude_  
><em>and AshAngela who would you choose? (and yes you must choose one!)_

_That's all from me for now P.s the next time you see Grell try and Kill him_  
><em>before William arrives will you?<em>

_Your Fellow Cat Lover and Hater or Grell (Shudder,)_

_CartoonAnimeGodess1995_

Yes, I am in good health. Demons rarely get sick or permanently damaged.

1. I have always loved them. They are self reliant, unlike dogs, they are always perfect, unlike dogs, they are very clean creatures, unlike dogs. **[A/N: Anyone else notice a pattern here?]**

2. Dogs are just horrible creatures. Always over affectionate, slobbery, and loud. **[A/N: I am not a big fan of dogs myself.. for good reason…]**

3. Ash/Angela because he/she was killed and I would much rather spend a day locked in a room with a rotting corpse than either of the other choices.

P.S. Believe me.. I will.

_A letter from Claudia Dionzeros:_

_To Mr Michaelis,_

_Hi there! I noe I'm new, but since I've asked your master so many questions, I_  
><em>thot it'll be a nice change to ask you as well, so 1st off, allow me 2<em>  
><em>introduce you to my OCs, Lady Claudia Rosario Alicia Darius, head of her<em>  
><em>family n Darius Enterprises, her family company. Also joining us is Mr William<em>  
><em>de Sentis, her ever faithful and loyal manservantbutler._

_Claudia Darius: Hello, Mr Michaelis._

_William: Hello there, Mr Michaelis, it's a great pleasure to meet someone as_  
><em>dedicated to their master as me.<em>

_Me: I decided to create them because I was reading through the manga Crimson_  
><em>Shell(check it out! It's great!) And I was struck with the resemblance between<em>  
><em>you two's behavior. I mean, both of you are dedicated n ever loyal to ur<em>  
><em>masters, n would never betray them!<em>

_William: I think what she means 2 say is that we are true 2 our masters. But_  
><em>no, I'm different from you in both looks n species. I'm blond n blue -eyed,<em>  
><em>with long hair and I'm... How do I say it...<em>

_Claudia Darius: *helpfully* Not quite human?_

_William: Yes. Thank you, Lady Darius. So you see, Mr. Sebastian Michaelis,_  
><em>we're so different in looks, but the same in our loyalty.<em>

_Me: I plan to title my new story, The Queen's Rose, so once I'm done with_  
><em>school, I put it up on fanfiction, Hope u'll like it!<em>

With great hopes,

_Claudia Dionzeros_

_P.S. For putting up with my long_

_review__, here are 5 kittens for you! Enjoy!_

Fair enough. Good day to you all. Hello Claudia, William. Well what kind of butler would I be if I betrayed my young master? (a bad one) Well in appearance, we are quite different, however, I as well am not human. What 'species,' as you put it, are you? I shall read it.

P.S. OOOOH KITTENS! *passes out* **[A/N: SERIOUSLY PEOPLE! I get that you want to give Sebastian kitties, but it is getting a bit repetitive.. And having a fully grown man fall as dead weight on you 3 times (so far..) in one day is quite painful..]**

_Our next letter is from Maximum Phantomhive:_

_Dear Sebastian,_

_Hello! I'm Ciel's second oldest cousin! You don't know me do you? Eh... Ciel_  
><em>forgot about me too.<em>

_Alice: That's Sebastian? The demon?_

_Me: Yes, why?_

_Alice: no reason, m' lady. He doesn't know I'm a demon does he?_

_Me: now he does... . Anyways..._

_Question: If Grell was a girl and was less annoying would you have made a_  
><em>relationship with him? Do you love Ciel as if you were in some yaoi? Do you<em>  
><em>enjoy yaoi? Do you enjoy yuri? What did you think of Mey-Rin when you saw her<em>  
><em>almost about to kill the man when you first met her?<em>

_-Lady of Reapers, Maximum Phantomhive_

As a matter of fact, I do remember you. I did extensive research regarding my young master before I could form a contract with him. And I did realize that you are a demon. I am quite skilled at being able to separate the demons (and other divine existences) from the normal humans. No. I have no time in my schedule to pursue a relationship. No. I will leave that to your imagination **[A/N: I LOVE YAOI!]**I was impressed. I also immediately knew she was perfect for the job.

_Next letter comes from Mavhe5:_

_Dear Mr. Sebastian,_

_Hello! My name is Mav. I love reading your answers, they are rather amusing. I_  
><em>thought I would tell you I also do not find SebXGrell yaoi entertaining, but<em>  
><em>disturbing. .-. I love kitties too! Especially little kittens and fat cats.<em>

_Oh right! Excuse my rambling introduction! Questions!_

_1. I have read several fics that describe creative loopholes in the contract,_  
><em>such as certain ways to have two contracts at once. Are there any loopholes?<em>  
><em>Being a demon myself, it has been a while since I last had a nice soul and<em>  
><em>could use one.<em>

_2. I cannot remember whether Ciel became a demon before or after you got his_  
><em>soul... If you got it, how did it taste? If not, how do you imagine it would<em>  
><em>have tasted?<em>

_3. I am not sure if you have already answered this question, but what is your_  
><em>favourite type of music? Possibly some examples?<em>

_4. To satisfy my own curiousity, what would you do if you woke up one day with_  
><em>snow-white hair? I love Devil May Cry, so it had to be asked... ^-^<em>

_Phew! Now that I'm done with typing... Thank you for reading, you crazy_  
><em>butler, you.<em>

_Sincerely,_

_Mav_

_The one with an insatiable thirst for knowledge~! =^.,.^=_

Thank you Mav. As do I…

1. Oh? Well it depends on the contract you make and who you make it with. My young master allowed me to form other contracts, though no one has taken me up on the offer.

2. No. I did not get his soul. I know that it would have tasted pure and clean. Refreshing. *goes off to emo corner*

3. I enjoy showtunes and metal.

4. I would probably just cut it all off, letting it regrow in less than a second, in whatever color I wish. And the detached hair would disappear into the shadows.

You're welcome?

_The next letter is from my young master's contractor, Roisalee Jones:_

_My goodness! I haven't been keeping up with this story, I need to change  
>that! And alright, um, Sebastian. You've been keeping up with Ciel's letters?<br>In that case you know I'll be staying with you at your and Ciel's mansion  
>from now onwards? Oh, and I have a list of other questions for you.<em>

_1: have you helped correct Ciel's dancing skills in all the years that have_  
><em>passed?<em>

_2: What is your favorite clothing style for men? For women?_

_3: What is your demon name/type (as in the type of demon you are)?_

_4:What do you do when Ciel is away at school? What about in your spare time?_

_5:Do you have any fan girls besides Grell and Kuroshitsuji fans (ex; rich old_  
><em>ladies next door, middle aged married women around the block, etc.)?<em>

_Thank you!_

_Sincerely,_

_Roisa_

Neither have I. I do apologize. Yes I have and yes I am aware of that fact.

1. Yes. Being a demon, he became more graceful, allowing me to teach him to dance.

2. It really depends.

3. I am not quite sure of what you are asking. I shall give you a synopsis of my life. I have been around since the beginning of time, the only one of us left. My true form varies, as does my appearance.

4. I learn new recipes, make desserts, clean, anything that needs doing. In my spare time, I enjoy volunteering at the local cat shelter.

5. Are you not seeing all of the people reading this story? And Bocchan's? I am pretty sure that they are fangirls if I ever saw one.

_Our next letter is from rockmusic14:_

_rockmusic14:HI hey sebastian, can i ask you a paradox? okay is the answer to  
>this question a no? now, back to questions. does the words "funeral",<br>"laughter" and "coffins" remind you of someone? can you do 3 backflips, 2  
>wheelcarts, 5 somersalts ( not sure if i spelt it right ) , 9 jump-kicks and 1<br>bow all at one go? ( after all, being part of the phantomhive household, what  
>would you be if you weren't able to do this much? ) how many knives can you<br>hold in one hand? have you ever met hildegarde? ( i am her second soul, so  
>don't lie, she's from the anime "beelzebub" ) if you were given a 1kg mallet<br>and grell, how will you kill him? ( sorry grell fans, i just hate him really  
>badly ) how much money are you willing to pay to save a stray cat? i think<br>that's all for now, here's a small bottle of my blood!_

_i am merely a sadistic reaper._

_P.S. it's blood type O, so keep the bottle away from mosquitoes and consume_  
><em>as fast as possible.<em>

_P.S.S and my guess of your favorite animal is... raven?_

_P.S.S.S KITTIES! =^.,.^=_

_P.S.S.S.S oh, and i don't just like cats because of kuroshitsuji. Lorelei, if_  
><em>you live near a bookstore, look for the series called "Warriors" . it's an<em>  
><em>epic tale about cats. =^.,.^=<em>

_P.S.S.S.S.S should i quit with the P.S-ing? ( not sure if theres such a word )_

_P.S.S.S.S.S.S oh and i'm a guy, though i'm hilda's second soul... maybe i'm_  
><em>bisexual?<em>

_P.S.S.S.S.S.S.S KITTIES! =^.,.^= wait... did i say that already? and i'm NOT_  
><em>reaper because of kuroshitsuji. i had the idea before i even heard of this<em>  
><em>show. and dont forget to watch "beelzebub" and read "Warriors" too!<em>

The answer to the question is maybe. And yes, The Undertaker and I keep in touch. Of course I can. Otherwise, what kind of butler would I be? It depends how many I need. My hand will accommodate the number of Deadly Butter Knives I need to hold. No, I have not met Hildegarde. I wouldn't use the mallet. In fact, I wouldn't kill him. I would torture him within an inch of his life, then leave him there. I don't need money. I can simply save the cat no matter what. Umm.. Thanks?

P.S. I do not consume blood unless you wish to form a contract with me.

P.S.S. **[A/N: Nope..]**

P.S.S.S. *gasp* *faints* **[A/N: *facepalm.. People.. what is with you? Are you trying to kill me?]**

P.S.S.S.S **[I actually read that when I was younger.. I enjoyed the series greatly!]**

P.S.S.S.S.S. I am fine with your 'P.S.-ing' (I am not sure either.)

P.S.S.S.S.S.S. *Dies* **[A/N: I am going to kill you all! Unless I die first… 5 times in one day…. Ok I shall watch it and probably reread Warriors because I don't remember much of it…]**

_And the last letter _**[A/N: FINALLY!]**_ is from the one and only redvines1010:_

_Ello Mister Sebastian Michaelis. (oooohh formalness!)_

_This is Allysen/Grell?_

_This is pretty freaking amazing, and I have a few questions to ask yah!_

_Okaii!_

_1. How was yer day? (starting with polite!)_

_2. Would yah love Grell if I put cat ears on him?_

_3. Are reapers considered dead?_

_4. If the answer to question 3. is yes, then if yah ever chose to *ahem* make_  
><em>a yaoi with Grell, would it be considered necrophilia, ohhh and the same goes<em>  
><em>to the sexy and the mysterious Undertaker.<em>

_5. Woof._

_6. Do yah prefer tacos or cake?_

_7. Can yah pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty please do the day with Grell!_

_8. I think thats about it actually... OOOOooOOooOoooOhh, are yah upset_  
><em>because your bocchan's soul got stolen away from yah and then turned into a<em>  
><em>demon, even after yah spent so long on it?<em>

_9. Are yah allowed to eat other people's souls now? Or do yah have to starve_  
><em>yerself forever and ever and ever?<em>

_Sorry that was such a long list of questions and maybe one or two statements_  
><em>thrown in there! I will be happy to learn of yer answer. And also, yer an<em>  
><em>amazing freakin writer!<em>

_~Allysen/Crappy Grell_

_woof woof woof meow (obviously a unicat!)_

And a good day to you as well!  
>Yes I figured that out.<p>

1. My day was pretty normal, attending to Bocchan, cleaning, cooking, mending, the whole nine yards. **[A/N: Random fact of the day! The whole nine yards is actually from the army, when the pilots layed all of the things they needed, it measured 27 feet, or nine yards!]**

2. You and I both know the answer to that…

3. No.. they are considered born as an immortal divine being. The same goes for demons, myself being born a demon, I am not dead, but Bocchan having been alive, then killed, then demonized, would be considered dead.

4. Ok?

5. *disgusted face*

6. I don't eat human food, it has no taste to me. I prefer souls.

7. Bocchan has ordered me to do it in retaliation of me calling him short.

8. Of course I am!

9. Because we modified the contract after the incidence of him becoming a demon, now I am allowed to have other contracts and souls.

Thank you! **[A/N: I don't know if the 'amazing freakin writer' was for me or for Sebastian, so we will both thank you for it!]**

But of course it is!

With Deadly Butter Knives,

Sebastian

**[A/N: Whew.. that was a long chapter.. Sebastian and I both deeply apologize for our absences, so we are both going to do something for you! Sebastian will be doing a paragraph about cats (Oh joy..) and I have a treat for the reviewers! The first 5 people to review on this chapter will receive a story (or oneshot.. depends on the amount of time I have..) from yours truly, Lorelei! You will get a personal message in regards to it if you are one of the first 5 reviewers on this chapter!**

**P.S. My contests are still running! Every 50****th**** reviewer gets a oneshot and if someone guesses my favorite animal, they get a oneshot!**

**And my hints for my favorite animal: Sebastian and I are quite alike in this department!**

**(That will basically show me who reads the author's note and who doesn't) **

**Anyway, Goodbye for now, but hopefully not for a long period of time like last time…**

Cats. Such wondrous creatures! Their skills, their intelligence, their independence. How they love company, but aren't so affectionate that you are drowning in it. The fact that if you leave, they will be fine, but they will look forward to your return. Their stances are so full of dignity and elegance. They purr to let you know that they are happy. They need to have such a perfect balance in life to be happy. Their precision is what makes me love them so much! They are quiet and soft. My favorite part about cats, however, is that they choose you. You never choose them, they will come to you.


End file.
